Chapter 4: Negative Visualization
- He robs present ills of their power who has perceived their coming beforehand. - Seneca
- All things everywhere are perishable. - Epictetus
- It helps to prevent and reverse hedonistic adaptation. Hedonistic adaptation is the reason we find our new TV or job or relationship as flawed and boring.
- The easiest way for us to gain #happiness is to learn how to want the things we already have.
- We spend time imagining that we have lost the things we value—that our wife has left us, our car was stolen, or we lost our job. If nothing else, our own death will end it. #morning-reflections
- How we would feel if we lost our abilities, including our ability to speak, hear, walk
- Epictetus counsels us, for example, when we kiss our child, to remember that she is mortal and not something we own—that she has been given to us “for the present, not inseparably nor for ever.”
- Besides contemplating the #death of relatives, the Stoics think we should spend time contemplating the loss of friends, to death, perhaps, or to a falling-out.
- Reflecting on our own death, rather than converting us into hedonists living wildly, will make us appreciate how wonderful it is that we are alive and have the opportunity to fill this day with activity
- Stoics don’t want us to stop thinking about or planning for tomorrow; instead they want us, as we think about and plan for tomorrow, to remember to appreciate today.
- Everything we have is “on loan” from Fortune, which can reclaim it without our permission - Seneca
- What about those individuals who clearly aren’t living the dream?
- Our circumstances could always be worse until death. There is no point in which we cannot be poorer, less healthy and characterless.
- The very fact that we consider using the faculty of mind in itself is a gift worth cherishing.
- Work to improve external circumstances, but at the same time, negative visualization could alleviate their misery until those circumstances are improved.
- Is it pessimism
- No. Glass is half full. The glass itself could have been broken or stolen. It helps to appreciate it more, not be gloomy.
- One reason children are capable of joy is because they take almost nothing for granted.
- Negative visualization is a form of gratitude.
- Thought Trap: To refuse to take delight in the world, in other words, is evidence of sophistication.
- foolish is to spend your life in a state of self-induced dissatisfaction when satisfaction lies within your grasp. To be able to be satisfied with little is not a failing, it is a blessing.
- If we have trouble visualizing, though, we can practice negative visualization by paying attention to the bad things that happen to other people and reflecting on the fact that these things might instead have happened to us.
- Do some historical research to see how our ancestors lived.
- Projective visualization: Besides imagining that the bad things that happened to others happen to us, we can imagine that the bad things that happen to us happened instead to others.
- If we were at someone’s house and his servant broke a cup, we would be unlikely to get angry; indeed, we might try to calm our host by saying “It’s just a cup; these things happen.”
- Will negative visualization destroy our tranquility?
- Do it only periodically: A few times per day or week.
- there is a difference between contemplating something bad happening and worrying about it. Contemplation is an intellectual exercise and it is possible for us to conduct such exercises without its affecting our emotions.
- It is possible, for example, for a meteorologist to spend her days contemplating tornadoes without subsequently living in dread of being killed by one.
- Will negative visualization cause undue attachment to things?
- Grief is inevitable on the face of loss. However, those who appreciated it will not have to entertain “if only” thoughts.
- It teaches us to enjoy what we have without clinging to it
Chapter 5: Dichotomy of Control
- There are things over which we have complete control and things over which we have some control, and then there are things over which we have no control at all.
- we have complete control over forming opinions, practicing values, acting on impulses, desires, and aversions
- we have complete control over the goals we set for ourselves
- we have it in our power to stop grumbling, to be considerate and frank, to be temperate in manner and speech, and to carry ourselves “with authority.
- my achieving the goals I set for myself instead typically falls into the category of things over which I have some but not complete control.
- It is impossible that #happiness, and yearning for what is not present, should ever be united - Epictetus
- A better strategy for getting what you want, he says, is to make it your goal to want only those things that are easy to obtain—and ideally to want only those things that you can be certain of obtaining.
- Your primary desire, says Epictetus, should be your desire not to be frustrated by forming desires you won’t be able to fulfill.
- Thus, wanting things that are not up to us will disrupt our tranquility, even if we end up getting them.
- Marcus thinks the key to having a good life is to value things that are genuinely valuable and be indifferent to things that lack value.
- Regarding things over which we have incomplete control, be careful to set internal rather than external goals
- By spending enough time practicing goal internalization, to develop the ability not to look beyond her internalized goals
Chapter 6: Fatalism
- Be fatalistic with respect to the past, to keep firmly in mind that the past cannot be changed.
- We sometimes should think about the past to learn lessons that can help us in our efforts to shape the future.
- We can either spend this moment wishing it could be different, or we can embrace this moment.
- Seek things in life, while enjoying present moment. #advice
Chapter 7: Self Denial
- Epicurus wanted to examine the things he thought he needed so he could determine which of them he could in fact live without.
- we should periodically cause ourselves to experience discomfort
- we harden ourselves against misfortunes
- grow confident that he can withstand major discomforts as well, so the prospect of experiencing such discomforts at some future time will not, at present, be a source of anxiety for him.
- it helps us appreciate what we already have.
- periodically forgo opportunities to experience pleasure
- The Stoics see nothing wrong, for example, with enjoying the pleasures to be derived from friendship, family life, a meal, or even wealth, but they counsel us to be circumspect in our enjoyment of these things.
Chapter 8: Meditation
- periodically meditate on the events of daily living, how we responded to these events, and how, in accordance with Stoic principles, we should have responded to them.
- Did something disrupt his tranquility? Did he experience anger? Envy? Lust? Why did the day’s events upset him? Is there something he could have done to avoid getting upset? #evening-reflections
- We should, in other words, create within ourselves a Stoic observer who watches us and comments on our attempts to practice Stoicism.
- Marcus advises us to examine each thing we do, determine our motives for doing it, and consider the value of whatever it was we were trying to accomplish.